Sunday, January 12, 2014
After what was probably one of the best days in France, I have just said goodbye to my best friend here. I have had an extremely tearful and heartfelt goodbye to this beautiful, strong woman who has been my rock here in France. My train, which is leaving now, is pulling slowly away from the closest person I have gotten to in France. I am feeling heartbroken knowing I have about 5 1/2 more months here without her. Mckinzie is the closest thing I have to family here. I haven't given her the credit she deserves on my blog for being in my life. I want to talk about our relationship together here and France and why it hurts so much that she is leaving.
Back in either August or July, I saw that Kinzie, the name I always use to talk about her, had posted in the AFS France page that she would be living in Lille. So I did the logical thing, I added her on Facebook as a friend. She had long blonde hair and was going to be here for a semester program during her senior year. We talked for a little bit just talking about our excitement for France. Nothing to major.
Fast forward to September 4th. I had just arrived in New York, pretty early. In the hotel I was talking with another boy from my chapter from PA who was going to Spain. Kinzie and Katie, another extremely outgoing girl who I still keep in contact with, invited us to join their table. After exchanging names and countries, she said France. I had made the mistake of completely not recognizing her at all, as she had cut her hair quite short. I had said some things like "Oh Mckinzie Spence? When does she get here?" And thins like that, as she sat at the same table across from me. Naturally, I felt like an idiot, and this is something she loves to remind me about.
Beginning that day, her and Katie perused around the hotel, large and seemingly in charge. Being in the group with the other boy from PA, we made a few remarks saying, "Why the hell are we letting these girls lead us around?" At the time, I had absolutely no clue. But they stayed in charge, leading quite a few ice breaker activities as everyone arrived and much more effective in my opinion than AFS. They came to seemingly like me and I liked them too, all thoughts of their craziness lingering in my mind, but with more of a relate-ability. That was the start of something we came to know as "la famille français" consisting of Kinzie, Katie, Natalie who I mentioned in a post earlier from PA, as well as a boy named Erik and three other girls, Annie, Johanna and Lily. We all got along really well and adopted a phrase from Katie who always said "Guys, we're going to France!"
When we first arrived in France, Katie naturally had to start saying, "Shit guys, we're in France!" And the phrase stuck. I spent as much time as I could with these freaks the days in Paris and was hard to say goodbye to some of them the day of departure.
Kinzie, was one of the few that would remain in my chapter. I remember in the train station, waiting for our train to Lille that I offered her mini Oreos. She was shocked and asked "Are you sure about this" like giving a person Oreos was crazy and that I should keep them all for myself. But I gave it to her anyways. That was a good morning.
A few weeks later we got together in Lille for what was my first time. It was warm and we went shopping and took pictures like tourists and ate crepes and were so happy we could order by ourselves in French. We have come a long way since.
Over the course of the months, we got together a few times more, and she became my rock as we hung out more often and talked in various other ways... You know who you are know what I am talking about....
She was smart, funny, kind, and most importantly, SANE. Of course she has had her moments but I still felt more comfortable with her as I opened up to her and let myself be myself around her. She in turn, did the same.
Back in October, wow a long time ago, she invited me to go to Paris with her for the day alone! I couldn't have gone without her and it was literally the best day so far in France. We took selfies at Notre Dame, walked about 11 freckin miles, complained about our feet doing nothing but hurting, took selfies at Le Moulin Rouge with our Starbucks, and bought Lauderée. Oh and skyped with her mom the night before. She at MANY times throughout that day yelled at me for not being careful with my macarons and that would cause them to break and I thought it was fine. Then on the train home, they were indeed broken, and I became annoyed with that, along with her taking about 15 minutes to take pictures of her macarons on the train. Pictures I may add that she never used. That day was perfect in so many ways.
We saw each other quite a few times in the past months, every was fun, no matter how short.
And then today, my last day in France with this girl. We did all of our basic things, shopping, walking through Lille, getting food, etc. My goodbye was extremely painful and happy as we reflected on a lot of our moments while in France together. And while I know that this will most certainly not be the last time I see her, it will be hard to go through these remaining five months without my rock, the one person I can talk to here in France with my full confidence, give me advice, and care about everything going on in my life because she knows how I feel and what I am going through at the same moment.
The best relationships don't come from your friends at school, or even your families, which both are important and will create strong relations with. The best and strongest come from your fellow exchange students, those who are their to help and support you because they know and understand everything and want to help you more than anything because they would want the same from you.
While saying goodbye is hard, it is nothing compared to the memories I will forever carry with me of this girl and the friend I have made for life.
If you would like to read about Kinzie's experience in France, a link to her blog can be found below.
http://kinzie-infrance.tumblr.com/
I now speak to Kinzie directly.
Kinz, thank you for absolutely everything. I mean that more than I can possibly put into words. You have been so important in my life here in France. You have been there to help me through hard times, been there to share a laugh, been there to just talk. You are a special person and I have so much respect for you as a human being. You are a beautiful, strong, smart, and capable young woman who can cook magnificently. I am going to miss you so much with just walking through Lille like we own the city, GC, and just having you around. Your a piece of home that I am going to miss so much. I am so grateful you have entered my life and I met you. France would have been so different without you here in the North. This isn't a permanent goodbye as you know. I will see you soon and I look forward to that time when I come to Illinois or you to Pennsylvania for a visit. Thank you for everything, et je t'aime <3. Bonne courage finir t'année dernier d'école. Tu nous manquerai ici dans le nord de France. You only have a few days left here in France, so make every second count. Remember all of the memories you made here and remember it as one of the best experiences in your life, because it is! We all love you! Now go and chef!
Avec amour,
-Aidan
